My granny is unwell….

My granny is not well. She is between life and death, struggling hard. She is hospitalized right now. This granny is my mum’s mum. I love her to the core. I have a feeling that she is going to leave us soon. I have so many memories with her. During my summer and winter vacations, I used to go to her house and be there with granny and grandpa. I was more attached to my mum’s mum and dad than my dad’s mum and dad, don’t know why though. Not that they were rude to me or something, but somehow I liked my mum’s mum and dad more. My granny, whenever she used to see me she would give me chocolates, every single time. She was like a mother to me. I would help her in cooking. She would occasionally give me a cinnamon as I liked eating cinnamon back then. I would stay with her for days without my own mum around. She used to tell me bedtime stories. I don’t want to lose her. Sometimes I am like okay, everybody has to go one day and I can accept that. But sometimes, it pains a lot to think that I won’t see her ever again. Death takes things to not return. Why does it have to be like this? Why isn’t there some sort of window even after death? That way the fear of losing won’t be there and we could occasionally meet them. I can’t even sleep properly. I will be okay I know after a few days. But this fear is killing me. I believe in god. Yes, very stupid of me, but that’s the only thing I have to hold on to in order to survive in life. I have been praying a lot lately. But I don’t think it will work out the way I want it to be. I can’t see her in pain. She is in too much of pain… Please pray that she doesn’t leave me, let her stay for 10 more years…

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